WHERE AM I?

Dreams

Late July update of un-happenings

Quit my job! Hoorah and a half. Twas a ridiculous series of events and timing that made it happen. Basically my boss made it obvious that I was about to be fired (for what reason, I do not know, because I was doing really well) by stopping communication with me, not having me on the schedule for the week and for the day I showed up, and for paying me for that day (which would normally have been on the next check) on the check she handed me that day. She was too cowardly to just tell me to my face and was seemingly going to wait until I called the following weekend to see if I was on the next schedule. So I was tired of waiting around and just quit because the next few weeks are going to be crazy anyway. Plus that commute was killing my gas and maybe my car too.
So that’s done. What a relief.
And I got the dream catcher tattoo I was talking about last month. It took a lot more planning than I thought but finally it happened.
Dream Catcher Tattoo

I got tired of trying to take a lameo picture in the mirror of myself–not to mention I look like garbage–so I stuck myself awkwardly on the scanner. It was fun. If it’s hard to tell, it’s on the outside of my upper left arm from the top of my shoulder almost to my elbow. I LOVE IT. The artist was such a pleasure to work with and just spend the 2 hours with. Funny and very professional, and put my first-tat nerves at ease. So anyone looking to get tattooed in Tallahassee, I reccomend Alain (French name pronounced like Alan) at Euphoria. It just healed and didn’t scab AT ALL. Still needs to be touched up though, maybe some more contrast in the feathers. But I love it. Before I got it, I thought I would always kind of be aware of it like my piercings but that isn’t the case at all. Once it stopped being sore and itchy I started to forget about it and I’ll look down or pass a mirror and be like “Whoah! That’s cool.” I’m happy.

Saw Inception. [SPOILER ALERT!] Need I say “holy shit”? It was amazing. I’m going to need to see it a second time, though, to decide whether a thing or two I noticed are what I would consider minor flaws. I shan’t say anything about that just now. Anyway, I LOVED the ending. Normally I’d criticize an open-ended conclusion as being an indecisive cop-out, but this was deceptively decisive, meaningful, and perfect. For the entirety of the movie, when… what’s-his-name… Leo knew for sure he was dreaming, he refused to taunt himself by looking at his children’s faces. But by the end, some 50ish (maybe) years after leaving his children, and after all the trials and risks in between dedicated to getting home to them, he accepted that, like Mal said, there isn’t one reality, and decided he didn’t care to know whether he was dreaming or not. A filmmaker’s decision I’d take as an implication that we can never know what’s real and what’s illusory. It’s a rare case where choosing to end the story one way or the other would be more of a cop-out. Like “Aw, the top fell, how sweet, everything worked out,” or “Ooh, it’s still spinning, spooky.”

In other news, I’ve started a series (hopefully, if the first one doesn’t turn out to be too much of a pain in the ass) of collages. I’m not done with the first one yet, but here it is in it’s current state:
Room Collage

So it’s a sort of 3D/2D collagey thing. When I was little, I would draw up doll house sort of things that would be 6 or so stories tall and flat in the way Super Mario’s world is. This is the reading room and I guess the other rooms will be similar. I’m thinking there will be 3 others to start with and they’ll be attached at the diagonal walls… so they’ll make a cube and I’ll make a roof. I guess if I want more, there can be multiple stories. I like it. I was thinking I might get some of that gross green foam you put in fake house plants and stick it in the floor piece so that I can make a paper doll of myself and have it able to move from room to room. We shall see.

DnD minis
And on a final note… this warrants no explanation except this: Eladrian Wizard, Princess Took. Watch out for my cloud of daggers.


Mid-June update of un-happenings

After weeks of checking craigslist job postings 5+ times a day, printing out the last of my ink’s worth of resumes, and emailing people, I finally got a job. We call it “reception.” But really we form the infrastructure of a certain anonymous pyramid scheme. As far as I can tell, the better I do at tricking getting more people involved, the better my superiors look. I don’t sell anything though, just read a script over the phone for 7 hours straight. As boring and unchallenging and freezing and far from my apartment as it is, it’s easy work and just a relief to be making some money. Hopefully I’ll go to Jacksonville this coming weekend to visit/get my car looked at/get tattooed.

That’s right.
My first Tallahassee paycheck purchase will hopefully be my first tattoo: a beautiful light and airy dream catcher in black and gray on my left upper arm. I’ve gotten so excited about it over the last few months I’ve even dreamt of dream catchers… which I thought was odd. The problem is that I haven’t found a good illustration/photo yet. I have a pretty good idea in my mind though. I’ll have to browse some more and combine elements that I like from different ones.
I’m really excited. I realized it’s because of, number one, how important and significant dreams are to me, and how confident I’ll feel when it’s done. Not because it’s cool to have tattoos, but because I’m placing it so visibly, I see it as a sort of permanent commitment to the non-corporate lifestyle that I’m choosing to pursue. And it’s so me: feminine but not girly, black & gray so as to be neutral and ambiguous, primitive, and dream-related.

Speaking of…
Growing up, and in high school especially, one job that I had interest in someday doing (among astronaut, tattoo artist, ballerina, photographer, and type designer) was wedding planning. I almost went to UCF for Hospitality/Management or whatever they call it (when we called to let them know we were voiding my place-holding deposit check because I decided to go to FSU, they charged me a bloody fee, those backward greedy bastards). Anyway I’m completely happy with my choice of Graphic Design at FSU but I never really let go of the idea. Recently, I thought about the fact that whenever I consider an idea for a tattoo or piercing for myself, I always picture it on my wedding day, and wonder if I won’t look romantic/lovely/bridey. Thinking about that, I realized it shouldn’t and doesn’t have to be like that, and got the idea to start my own non-traditional wedding planning business based on spirituality rather than religion and honoring the marrying individuals’ individuality (hehe). I love the idea of owning my own business… but I have no idea how business works.

In other news, friends and I saw Toy Story 3 yesterday. It was INCREDIBLE. My favorite Pixar, I think. I was actually skeptical at first, thinking three films is just too many for a Disney series (i.e. Aladdin, The Lion King, Pirates of the Caribbean, etc.) but I think Pixar just doesn’t mess up. I laughed SO hard (for example, at the way Woody looks when he runs) and cried. Nothing was cliche or predictable, and it was charming¬† and whimsical and fun without being childish or immature. It was just beautiful. The preceding short film reminded me a little too much of my “Outside In” project conceptually, but it was lovely as well, and really cute. To psych up for the premier, I watched the first and second Toy Story films this month and Pixar’s technical progress is astounding.
I want to see it again.

Photographically, I am disappointing myself. It must appear that I’ve done even littler than I have this summer because I’ve been focusing more on medium format and 35 mm experimentation, and I don’t have access to a negative scanner during the summer. Though I admit I have not been shooting much. I went to visit my cousin E.B. in Naples with my family last month, and we went on an air boat tour through the Everglades, where I’d never been, after over 10 years of being a Floridian. I took a lot of pictures there, but as usual, only liked about 10% of them enough to share. Here are a few:

Dad searching for coupons The grassy area
Alex, King of the Everglades
Alex and E.B. on the shot luge

Well. I’m not sure what’s left. I feel like I had something else to say, but now I’ve forgotten. Adieu!

P.S. Gaby says hi and she thinks my blog is “balling.” Cheers, Gaby.


Hoglets-a-gogo

Just woke up a little while ago. Had a strange dream.
I was swimming in this pool and there were lots of people there, mostly children. Also there were hundreds of baby hedgehogs… swimming. Kind of like my dreambrain confused them a bit with sea urchins. I don’t remember how they got there, but they were itty bitty and swimming everywhere. Everyone was picking out their favorite, some people saying, “I like this one because it sings,” and so on. Some of them could sing.
That’s all I remember.